Lisa is the author of the award-winning memoir, A Double Life: Discovering Motherhood, which was an National Book Critics Circle Top-10 Independent Press Pick for 2011. With Caroline, she's the co-founder of Learning to Eat and co-editor of The Cassoulet Saved our Marriage: True Tales of Food, Family, and How We Learn to Eat. She holds an MA in creative writing, a PhD in English and has taught literature and creative writing widely, most recently in the MFA Program at the University of San Francisco.
This dinner began with a piece of albacore, which we eat with some regularity. We can buy it fresh at our farmers market and it’s a favorite with everyone. I’m not sure what sent me down the composed salad path, but it might have had something to do with the week of composed salads we ate after Easter and something to do with the fact that I’m tired of the Korean style tuna we’ve been eating–delicious as it is. And it definitely had something to do with the fact that Finn doesn’t often like his foods all mixed up. So if I can separate ingredients without trouble, sometimes I do. For this salad, I made this easy dressing with what I had on hand. I didn’t have a lot of traditional Nicoise ingredients (potatoes, olives) but I had other things: a tender Boston bibb lettuce and some baby Romaine, hard boiled eggs, tomatoes, white beans, artichokes. I did a quick pan sear of the tuna, roasted the baby artichokes, steamed the green beans. I topped the tuna with the dressing and set out the other ingredients out on the counter with the dressing.
Here’s the very best part: kids get to choose what goes on their plates. I dressed each ingredient individually in the glass bowl, which is the traditional way to prepare a Nicoise in any case, and then set it on their plates. Caroline & I are together on this: when you can give kids choice and control, that’s always a good thing. This was Finn’s custom plate: tuna, white beans, green beans, lettuce. He came back for seconds. I think we also had some fresh bread.
The second best part: everything can stay at room temperature so it was ready to go for my husband and I later that evening. In one of those great moments when what makes the kids happy makes the grown up happy, we had a win/win kind of night. And: you can endlessly adapt this: substitute canned tuna or salmon, fresh snap peas or carrots….whatever you have on hand.
I didn’t really want to do anything for Mother’s Day, which I feel pretty ambivalent about. Aside from an exciting, early morning soccer game for Ella, I had no plans, and I wanted to keep it that way. I thought a nap might be in order. Later, I just didn’t feel like cooking dinner. I didn’t feel like takeout. Nor did I feel like having my husband cook dinner and make a mess in the kitchen–even a little mess. To his credit, Kory took it upon himself to make a reservation at a local restaurant that we hadn’t been to for a meal. I’d had drinks and snacks there with some friends but had never seen the menu. I was a little skeptical, but too tired to make a big deal. So we dressed up and went out to an early dinner.
My first impression: not so positive. It’s one of those places with the kind of faux Tuscan decor that’s just sort of cheesy and nondescript: murals of villas and sunflower fields, faux arches, earthy colors. The menu was less than inspired and sort of expensive. They served mostly standard Italian American fare,and the kids menu looked like this:
So, we weren’t expecting much.
The restaurant was very quiet. There were white linen tablecloths, pretty little candles, nice flatware and glassware on the table. But they brought the kids a big box of crayons and some paper which happily entertained them while we ordered and waited.
I had a really good glass of Prosecco, which makes almost anything better than okay, and when the server brought the Casear salad, to our great surprise, both kids dug in. Finn shared with me, Ella shared with her dad, and was even persuaded to eat several of the anchovies.
It was incredibly calm–at our table, but also in the restaurant more generally. There were several elderly couples around us, but across the way was a family with two teenagers, dressed casually in hoodies and jeans, tucking into filet mignon, having what seemed to be a really pleasant time.
When they brought the pasta, you could tell right away it was impeccably fresh. Ella’s pesto was bright green, as if it had just been mixed. Finn’s marinara was bursting with flavor, and my bolognese was perfect. The portions were just the right size. So in spite of the fact that the kinds menu looked like the worst kind of generic pandering to kids, they got to choose their pasta shape and the sauce, and both were beautifully prepared–simple, fresh, delicious–and served in elegant bowls. The kids loved it. I loved it.
At some point, a family with a baby and a 5 year old in complete butterfly face paint and a lovely party dress sat next to us. They had a conversation with the grandparents on their other side. The little girl listened intently to some story Kory was telling Ella and Finn, then joined the conversation at our table. By this time, the restaurant was packed with a really diverse group of people, and maybe it was the second glass of prosecco that got to me, but I prefer to think that there was something magical at hand. The general quality of the food, the welcoming atmosphere, the young and old, moms, dads, kids of all ages, grandparents, the mix of elegance with a deep family-friendly attitude. Yes, it was pricey, but I can’t help but think that helps to maintain a certain mood of dignity and respect.
And things went so swimmingly, we even let the sit next to each other and tuck into a pretty great ice cream sundae. At home, this would easily have devolved into disaster. But they knew better.
Not every family dinner can be so lovely and calm, but when things go as well as they did on this night, I remember the basic tenants we’ve been working on since Ella was a year old: be open to new experiences; teach your children appropriate restaurant behavior; a little bit of fancy dress does wonders to calm the beast and raise expectations; go to dinner when your children are hungry, even if this means a 5 PM reservation.
I have been cooking a little more these days, and spring is making it easier: new food, fresher produce, etc. Last weekend I picked up a bag of salmon backs, which are my favorite cut of salmon for their economy, flavor and ease of preparation. And then I found some Mexcian limes, which to my mind make any meal worth eating. And I came up with these tacos. Citrus marinated salmon, topped with chopped green onion, cilantro, and cumin cream sauce. We ran out of tortillas, so my husband and I ate them with middle eastern flat bread, which might have been better. They’re totally delicious and were a huge hit with the kids, who added guacamole. They’ll add guacamole to anything. & really, why not?
These are easy enough to get on the table tonight, just in time for Cinco de Mayo!
Salmon “ceviche” tacos
serves 4
3/4 lb salmon (1 1/2 lb if you use backs, since there is a lot of bone)
juice of 1 orange, 2 limes, 1 lemon
1 tsp salt
1 stalk chopped fresh green garlic, including greens (or 1 clove garlic or 1 stalk green onion)
soft taco shells
chopped cilantro for garnish
Mexican lime for garnish (if none are available, use regular limes)
cumin cream sauce, see below
Cumin cream sauce
Mix equal parts plain, greek style yogurt with mayonnaise, the juice of one lime, and 1 tsp cumin, a pinch of salt.
Marinate salmon in ziplock bag in refrigerator with citrus, salt, and chopped garlic. for at least 1/2 hour or longer.
Grill or broil until cooked through.
Shred salmon into flakes.
Serve on tacos with cilantro, cream sauce, and limes for garnish.
Caroline does a lot of things right, and her post yesterday drove home one more thing I admire about her: she feeds herself well. I read her post with admiration and a little dismay because I, for one, don’t take the time or expend the energy to cook for myself when I’m alone. I simply don’t bother. I realize that Caroline made something very fast, very fresh, with minimal mess or clean-up, but I can barely get myself to make any lunch at all, much less breakfast, much less something different, now that the kids are in school. I just don’t want to take the time or expend the effort. These days, I subsist on bowls of cereal, grilled sandwiches, tuna, and, if I’m lucky, some leftovers–but the latter is very rare. I do eat a good, balanced dinner with lots of variety and that generally makes me feel better. But it doesn’t solve the problem of the rest of the day.
I know I should drink more milk or take my calcium, but I forget. I should grab pieces of fruit, but I don’t. I should bother to make a salad, but I don’t. My pantry is really well stocked, but I don’t use it for myself.
I have finally come to a truth: These days, my kids eat better than I do. Some days much better. I would never feed them the way I’ve been feeding myself lately. Why is it, for instance, that I buy $10 worth of fruit and don’t eat any of it? This week it was strawberries, the first of the season. Out of 3 pints I brought home, I ate maybe 3 strawberries. Come summer, it’s not unusual for the kids to eat every pint of berries.
And I wonder if this is a problem for other parents out there? Do your kids eat better than you? What do you do to take care of yourself foodwise when the kids are away from home? Do you care?
I like short term, focused projects, so for the next week, I’m going to make an effort to feed myself better. I’ll report back.
Yesterday, the day got away from me, and even though it was Sunday, I hadn’t gotten the pot of black beans to simmer before the soccer game, as I had imagined I would, and 5:15 rolled around and even though I had a house full of food, I had no idea what to cook.
So, I took a page from Ben’s book, and I foraged. Meaning, I started pulling things out of my refrigerator one at a time, in this order:
green olives with herbs, newly purchased from a new vendor at our farmers market (this suggested pasta)
mini baguettes (another nudge in the direction of pasta)
bacon (bought for the beans but I figured I might as well find a way to use some of it)
yellow chard (because it’s a little more work to clean and chop than spinach, so better for a Sunday than a weekday…)
And then I pulled a little suburban iron chef action and did this:
Pasta with Bacon and Yellow Chard
Cook 5 slices bacon until tender crisp. Set aside to drain, then chop into 1 inch pieces.
Drain off most of bacon fat and reserve for another use.
Rinse and chop stems, then leaves of 1 bunch yellow chard into 1 inch slices/strips.
Saute chard stems in bacon fat until they begin to soften.
Add chard leaves and sautee about 4 minutes. Add about 1/4 cup vegetable broth and simmer until liquid is mostly reduced and chard is tender but not too soft. Turn off heat. Return bacon to pan.
Cook pasta according to package instructions.
Drain pasta, reserving 1 cup pasta cooking water, and add pasta to bacon and chard mixture along with 1/2 cup finely grated pecorino or romano cheese. Toss quickly to coat. Add a bit pasta water if it seems too dry.
Serve immediately.
The olives & bread made nice sides.
The dish was a huge hit, especially with the kids, who seem to have turned into little bacon monsters over night, and really, who can blame them? It’s fast, not too messy, and one dish meal.
